Emilia Clarke on self-worth, comparing herself to others and a new chapter in life — for Marie Claire
«My goal is to take everything a little more lightly»
British actress Emilia Clarke, best known for her role in «Game of Thrones», stars in the latest issue of «Marie Claire UK» ahead of her 40th birthday.
In the accompanying fashion editorial, Clarke wears looks from leading fashion houses, including Prada, Balenciaga, Alexander McQueen, Gucci and Victoria Beckham.
In the interview, she opens up about years of emotional numbness, the loss of her father, two brain haemorrhages and her struggle with anxiety.
For millions of viewers, Emilia Clarke will forever be Daenerys Targaryen — the Mother of Dragons from the iconic series. Yet behind her global fame and the success of one of the most popular television shows of recent years lies a story the actress was not ready to discuss openly for a long time.
In 2011, shortly after filming wrapped on the first season of «Game of Thrones», Clarke suffered a life-threatening brain haemorrhage. A second followed in 2013. During this period, she continued working on the series, attending press events and adjusting to the sudden rise to fame that came with playing Daenerys.
«The first season finished at Christmas, and by February, I was in hospital with my first brain haemorrhage. So I did my first press tour on morphine», she recalled.
The second haemorrhage was another major ordeal. Then, not long afterwards, her father died, and the accumulated trauma left her completely shaken.
Despite everything, Clarke kept working and gave herself no time to process what was happening. Looking back, she now realises that she effectively put her own feelings on hold.
«When I was filming ‹Game of Thrones›, I had absolutely no desire to examine myself, analyse what I had been through or ask myself questions. I was simply in a state of shock. It was as though I had been frozen in time for ten years», the actress admitted.
At the time, she says, the only strategy that made sense to her was to keep moving forward without stopping. When the series eventually ended, the emotions she had pushed aside finally caught up with her.
«Did it make me stronger? Oh, yes! I’m grateful for all of it. When you have time to process what you’ve been through after experiencing pain, you gain a superpower. And that superpower is empathy», Emilia said.
Despite everything she has endured, Clarke has never lost her ability to laugh at herself. On the contrary, humour has become one of her most effective ways of managing anxiety and preventing worry from getting the better of her.
«Before an important event, I get incredibly nervous. But then it all happens, and I realise I handle it wonderfully. Humour is medicine. It fixes everything. Absolutely everything», Clarke explained.
At the same time, the actress does not believe that being able to laugh at difficult situations comes easily. In her view, it takes inner work and courage not to treat every setback as a catastrophe.
«My goal for the next ten years of my life is to take things more lightly. But that takes strength. It really takes strength to find something funny in what’s happening», she said.
Over the years, Clarke has learned to be more mindful not only of her emotional well-being but also of her professional choices. In the past, she would accept offers without always considering whether she truly wanted to take them on. Now, she is much more selective about the projects she pursues and the people she works with.
«The first ten years of my career, aside from ‹Game of Thrones›, were all about saying yes. I said yes because I didn’t know I could say no», the actress recalled.
Clarke is now preparing for a new chapter in her career — a return to the stage. She is working on a production of «Plenty» at London’s National Theatre, where she will collaborate with director Richard Eyre. The play is based on a work by British playwright David Hare.
Another project on Clarke’s schedule is the romantic drama «Next Life». She plays Ivy, an aspiring young singer whose life unfolds along two parallel paths. In one reality, her character falls in love with a musician played by Édgar Ramírez. In the other, she finds herself back with her former lover, portrayed by Jack Farthing.
The project also holds special meaning for Emilia because she sang jazz when she was younger. So when she discovered that the story was connected to London’s jazz scene, she was immediately interested.
Another aspect of her life that Clarke is trying to change is her relationship with social media.
«I post something and then disappear. I don’t go on Instagram at all because after 30 seconds, I start feeling sick», she commented.
Instead, Emilia wants to devote more time to face-to-face connections, recognising that social media can create only an illusion of closeness.
«The algorithm won’t keep you warm at night. It won’t help you make your wildest dreams come true. It won’t make you laugh or be there to support you», the actress emphasised.
Clarke is equally outspoken about society’s expectations surrounding appearance. She points out that women are still criticised more quickly and more harshly than men. She is particularly concerned about the challenges faced by older actresses, who often find it harder to secure interesting roles once they reach their 50s or 60s.
Clarke admits that she, too, sometimes feels the pressure of these expectations. She is learning not to measure her worth by other people’s judgments, opinions or ideas about what a successful woman should look like.
«The key to being utterly miserable is comparing yourself to other people. I can’t say I never do it myself, but I try to catch those thoughts when they arise and find strength in who I am», the actress shared.
Photo: Marie Claire UK
